The word ‘green’ leaves my lips. I’m supposed to be turned on and I am, so badly, and it’s supposed to turn me on that I’m being turned on b... being hypnotised, and it does and I’m almost panting. I’m supposed to play with my breasts, show her how hot this is making me and how I’d touch hers if she’d let me. I gently rub them, then pull at the nipples the way she loves. She’s so high above me, sitting on the couch like it’s a throne while I kneel at her feet. I want to go down on her, even more. Now I have three a week. I don’t wake up in cold sweats, or screaming, just with a vague sense of unease, as if there’s someone standing over me, in the dark, and even though I can’t see them, I know they’re there. Half awake, after a nightmare, I don’t feel fear, just a reaffirmed bored intensity. Brutal, hacksaw murder or not, at least it would be a little action. I try to want not to go to the bar on my night off, again. I’m barely twenty one and already I’ve come to this. It’s my choice,. I tried to concentrate on my programming, but after hours of not being able to find a misplaced comma, I finally gave up in frustration. I did paperwork and file maintenance until it was time to go home.My foreboding grew as I walked in my apartment. The message light on my answering machine blinked alarm red and I knew without checking that it was Tina. With a deep sigh, I pressed play."Hi, Joe. This is Tina. I got your message. I'm ... I'm glad you decided to come. Dinner on the 11th sounds. Where had the time gone? It seemed just yesterday that Mary was clenching Jenny's hand in the hospital when David didn't make it through surgery, but that was five years ago.Mary leaned against the kitchen counter behind her, running one hand through dirty blonde hair, her hand turning to a fist as she fought back a tear at the memory. Jenny would be home any minute, and Mary didn't want to ruin her daughter's birthday enthusiasm with her own dark emotions. That could wait until tonight, when.
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